A Lot Ado About Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

  • Autor de la entrada:
  • Publicación de la entrada:16 diciembre, 2023
  • Categoría de la entrada:Artículos

It has been a large week for homosexual-related first individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual journals!

Our very own very first piece pertains to you via xojane, the women’s site oriented upwards by Jane Pratt (my champion)

(i am serious) of




Entitled »
I am a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,» this portion falls under the «it simply happened for me» element which existed at JANE magazine and is made up mainly of writer/reader-submitted accounts of subjectively fascinating private experiences.

The anonymous writer of this portion, who I’ll call «Ariel,» is clearly bisexual, but because she readily provides blow tasks to the woman male lovers but doesn’t time or usually go lower on ladies, she actually is, she clarifies, officially, only a »


Pillow Princess.» (She also refers to herself as «mostly straight» and «right» at some other things for the story.) The woman reputation started, she explains, when her first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke named Kelly at her university — took place on the for one hour. She la-la-la-loved it after which instantly fled the world fearing her very own failure to do this type of fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a long duration.

She produces:

«obviously, word got around that she and that I had connected hence I would left the girl hanging, which in fact had the unusual effect of providing me personally folk-heroine standing. Kelly labeled as me a «pillow princess,» and henceforth, I was one. It was like some form of movie conceit the spot where the character is actually mistaken for a hollywood and reaches drive in a limo and remain in an elegant resort as a result of it.»

This apparently totally resolved inside her favor, as she romped about in college setting up with lots of «aggressive types just who got down from the idea that I became unwilling to try to let a female touch myself.» Post-college, she shifted to the net, in which she marketed their relaxed status and often came across up with girls for NSA gender.

Near the conclusion she problematically explains that whenever setting up with a lady she actually is maybe not keen on, she simply closes her sight and envisions some other person «while [the lesbian] really does her thing.» Often it seems like she desires women to consume her out because they’re presumably much better at it than the male is. She


decrease on it but «I’m not matchmaking them, and that I don’t believe i might want my personal fetish corrupted by looking after somebody adequate to surrender.»

I’dnot need to sit alongside Ariel on a plane, but her one-sided intimate encounters are consensual and she’s simply advising a real tale of the woman existence, therefore I’m in no way certain what to label of this (and I also’m curious to understand what you create from it, if such a thing).

Next, on Jezebel (via
The Great Men Venture
) we’ve
I Married a Lesbian (And I’m a Guy)
. The writer, Hugo Schwyzer, «tended getting crushes for a passing fancy sort of girl: the celebrity baseball player, the football forward, the swimmer. Some happened to be lesbians. Some weren’t.» The guy wondered:

What-is-it that received myself many times to women that had been same-sex attracted? It really wasn’t the stereotypical male dream by what these were performing during sex, and it also undoubtedly had nothing in connection with a macho notion that i really could switch a gay woman right.

In parts, the piece (which really does tred on some stereotypical soil) reminded me of this quote from

Girls Next Door

that we cited in articles about feminine manliness

«â€¦if we had to help make an added generalization about lesbian taste, it could be that the majority of all of us are powerfully drawn to females, homosexual or straight, breathtaking or perhaps not, exactly who seem as though capable eliminate by themselves.»

Mcdougal in the course of time marries a lesbian who presented as right, in which he found their causing sex life to get unsatisfactory. She would not give him blow tasks and did not really like entrance but joyfully approved his choices of cunnilingus. When their sexless marriage ended in divorce case and a drug relapse (for him), they are relatively caring to his ex-wife’s fight as opposed to labeling the woman as deceptive (as numerous from the commenters would):

She had originate from a traditional household who would are deeply embarrassed getting a homosexual son or daughter. She may usually have identified, but did her best to cover it, possibly wanting that the woman feelings might alter. Or she may have been like lots of ladies I understood, and only found her genuine intimate identification after already becoming married to men.

What’s redeeming about any of it essay in my experience that the writer’s conception of his own gender is certainly caused by free from the traditional masculine posturing any might anticipate in an item along these lines (the guy also relates to themselves as «femmy»). Perhaps it just appears that means because men very seldom talk about wanting powerful, sports, powerful women with short hair; but it is energizing however.

I really don’t fault Hugo or Ariel for advising their unique tales, but it is well worth mentioning that both narratives appear to ride about idea that bed room conduct is the ultimate/only litmus test of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy one another’s organization, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in penetration as a «warning indication» the guy missed, whenever penetration is rarely a specifically heterosexual act (it seems inclined Courtney feared the closeness of entrance with men she didn’t wish is with, but really you never know) and falling in love, fundamentally, is about your vagina but it is additionally regarding your cardiovascular system and it’s really generally about having passionate feelings. Those romantic thoughts are just what transforms a hook-up union into a relationship, most likely.

Finally at


we’ve a sweet tale directly through the pony’s throat —
My First Time: Female. 17. Bay Area
. I do believe this is actually the first time the «First Time» series provides presented a lesbian.

Generally, in ninth grade, the author confessed to her companion that she had lesbian thoughts on her behalf, and her closest friend reciprocated, in addition they proceeded to carry on a covert lesbian relationship and are still collectively now and she actually is a grown-up within the army!

This indicates they have but to just take their unique relationship out from the cabinet, which will be slightly puzzling, but whatever

. [


: ends up this tale ended up being written before DADT was actually repealed, although it just got printed, thus nothing is puzzling taking place here. This is simply straight-up nice atlanta divorce attorneys way, unequivocally.]

The main focus associated with the portion (which can be extremely pretty and sweet) is on the author’s discovery of
just what lesbian gender is quite

We’d never ever been down on every some other, and that I ended up being sure that is what we would meant as soon as we mentioned we desired to have sexual intercourse. (Now I understand that absolutely more to fucking than slurping a female’s pussy and calling it everyday.)

She concludes:

I know that a lot of men and women disagree as to what virginity means to a homosexual lady, but virginity is very personal, and it actually will depend on who you’re inquiring. Some people might state penetration needs to be included, but I think it is around anyone shedding his/her virginity. Basically feel like I lost my personal virginity, next goddammit, i’ve!

I have spent almost all of the day and afternoon looking at word press, racking your brains on what point I could create about these parts. I was thinking a large number about the reason we’d never publish «I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess» on this subject site but are unable to see through the explanation that I’d worry 50 of you would vow never to come back here and remaning many-thousands of you would battle together about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure before heating loss of the world. We pictured someone posting «I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess» to us via email following I imagined the article conference where we would arrive at that story and all of say «NO» additionally.

In seeking a point to gleam because of these stories, I made an effort to figure out what you might consider or say, and I cannot, and I also want to complete this article today to improve the entire process of me learning what you think about these stories. Yup, for the first time ever since beginning Autostraddle, I’ve got not a clue what you should state about a thing. Therefore perhaps i ought to only ask you to answer — what’s your own response to these parts?

Before going!

It prices money to create indie queer mass media, and frankly, we need even more people to survive 2023

As many thanks for TRULY maintaining united states alive, A+ people gain access to added bonus material, added Saturday puzzles, and more!

Do you want to join?

Cancel whenever.

Join A+!